The sun sets across the city
it taunts like a vacant lover slips out and whispers:
“you missed me”
sometimes it doesn’t show itself at all, leaves through the grimacing grey sky,
no courtesies given, an irish goodbye
the air bites, the heating hums,
teeth grit as feet touch bathroom tiles,
everything hurts more in these dismal days,
no sunlight soothes the seasonal sores,
did it catch you too? The wintering ways?
did the darkness dampen summer’s lingering haze?
did my blue eyes wilt or become frost filled streams?
did the light leave your love as the leaves from the trees?
warmth from the radiator, I think of your touch,
You once wondered at its properties
how you could feel so much
Are your bedsheets empty? Do you feel the cold?
Or did you find some other warmth you could hold?
Some guy from work, some girl with rings,
Did they tempt you with freedom and the pleasure it brings?
that week of debauchery, tell me, was it then?
When you toed the line between lover and friend?
Secret rooms, corners, the unspoken spaces,
I’ll fill in the gaps, you in all places,
bile becomes me, so I prescribe you villainy
forgive the broad brushstroke, the mind craves coherency
My thoughts are harsh, hateful and cruel
while my heart aches with the sweet memories of you
and I’ll remember
The shell of your ear, skin flakes in your hair,
the human of you, how I once had it there,
and would’ve kept it too, to see if it grew,
into something honest, imperfect but true
but you took that away, the tide receded,
No time to fight it, no time to plead it,
you once said your sin was lust, I said mine was pride,
I watch your words become puzzle pieces for our swift demise,
Winter obscures, makes us wear masks for the cold,
You took yours off so the truth could be told,
I left you there, in the sunlit cafe,
I paused at the door, “is there no more to say?”
I stepped forward then, into winter’s bare face,
better the truth than your icy embrace.